


Come What May

by IsileeGilbert



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Grief, Implied Torture, Mention of Death, Use of Unforgivable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:01:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24443986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsileeGilbert/pseuds/IsileeGilbert
Summary: In trying to cope with his grief, will he allow himself to continue to be numbed, or will he learn to begin to embrace the world courageously?
Kudos: 1





	Come What May

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I'm not sure if I want to see a Thestral in real life, but I'm pretty sure I don't own Harry Potter ;)

[Written for The Houses Competition Sixth Year Round 2 Standard]

House: Ravenclaw

Subject: Potions

* * *

**Come What May**

From his perch high up in the poplar tree, he looked up at the midnight sky glittering with stars. It was dull. To him, at least.

_They had shone just like that once._

He turned to watch the lake's water beneath him gently ripple as the Giant Squid broke its calm surface with a tentacle, waving it about in the air. This, too, was tedious. Sighing despondently, he pointed his wand towards something at the foot of the tree and muttered in a monotonous tone, " _Accio_."

Turning on his side, he permitted himself to roll off the branch and free-fall through the air. The wind whistled sharply in his ears and his robes whipped about him. Just as his face was about to catch on a tree branch, he abruptly stretched out his hand and grabbed onto a smooth, firm piece of wood that came hurtling towards him—his Nimbus 2001. Deftly shifting his weight, he manoeuvred himself onto the broom in an experienced manner and, lying almost parallel to the broom, sped over the Great Lake in a blur. The wind thundered in his ears now, and he breathed in deeply, savouring the feel of the air becoming icy pricks against his skin and letting it rush into his lungs and filling it to its capacity.

The only way he ever felt like himself; like a normal person and not some unfeeling pillar, like all was right with the world, were times like this. Speeding through the air where no one could stop him in the darkness of the night; being completely at ease in the air where he knew he was able to take control.

Breaking the cover of the forest, he made sure to keep low and swiftly landed on a trampled stretch of grass near the stone walls of the castle. He whipped out his wand and quickly tapped a circular pattern on the arrangement of stone bricks. The portion of the wall silently slid apart to reveal a flight of stairs heading down. He quickly stepped through the entrance and made his way down in the dim light of a hasty " _Lumos_."

Stepping through the wall at the end of the stairs, he was surprised to see light from the fireplace flickering against the walls of the Slytherin Common Room.

"Back earlier than usual, aren't we, Theo? Had enough of hiding?" drawled the familiar voice of his childhood companion, Draco Malfoy. The platinum blond-haired boy threw a quick glance to the wall behind Theo to make sure nothing was out of place—it was a concealed secondary entrance to their Common Room that only the older Slytherins knew about.

Theo didn't even spare Draco a glance as he headed to the armchair in front of the fireplace and sat down elegantly. "It's not hiding," he said evenly, but Draco didn't let that fool him. He knew Theo far too long not to recognise that the caramel brown-headed boy was actually sulking.

"Brooding then, whatever you want to call it. What's in a name? You're still hiding even after all these years." Draco rolled his eyes.

"Why are you awake anyway? Don't need your beauty sleep anymore?" The tone was sarcastic, but Draco brushed it off as insouciantly as he did the lint on his shirt.

"You've been going out more recently," Draco stated with a careless shrug of a shoulder.

The Common Room was silent, but the growing tension in the air between them was so palpable Draco felt almost compelled to try and cut it with the dagger he always kept in his left boot.

Then, Theo suddenly slumped bonelessly further into the armchair. "It's no use," he bemoaned, "I can't stop seeing... _her_. In my dreams."

Immediately, Draco understood what Theo did not say, all that did not _need_ to be said. Theo's childhood memories must have been stirred by the Care of Magical Creatures lesson they had last week. The usually cool and collected boy had gone extremely stiff and quiet as the class approached the Forbidden Forest, and Draco had not understood until they were told _Thestrals_ were right in front of them.

He had fumed silently; had that oaf of a gamekeeper not bothered to consider that the sight of Thestrals—of actually being able to _see_ them—would incite some traumatic emotions and memories in some of the students? In a moment of brashness for his friend's suffering he had almost spoken out. But one look at Theo's face had stopped him—it was better not to draw attention to the reason Theo was able to see Thestrals.

Draco drew up next to Theo's armchair and gripped his shoulder in commiseration, then quietly headed towards the rooms to leave him to his thoughts.

Theo did not acknowledge it and just stared morosely into the fire. Every night since the lesson he had been unable to have a peaceful night's rest. Every night his mind was inundated with vivid images that he had never wanted to see, and every night he woke after less than three hours of sleep. After the first few nights, he had taken to slipping out of the Common Room to go for a fly, or just simply to sit in a tree and stare at the stars. They reminded him of how she used to be.

Golden-brown hair just like his that seemed to glow with the sun, velvety soft as the night sky. Her eyes were beautiful stars that shone with the light of infinite happiness whenever she looked at him. His little fingers wrapped tightly around her dainty ones as she sang lullabies in her sweet voice to him.

The ghost of the soft feeling of her hair against his face and her skin under his hands still lingered even now, thirteen years since. But most haunting of all was the look of unbearable grief and pain in her eyes as she was brought to her knees before him, screaming and screaming until she could scream no more. He had been Imperiused to remain still and silent, and he could do nothing but watch as the starlight in his mother's eyes faded. He was left looking into flat planes of dull blue, all at once like trying to look past stone and being sucked into an oceanic void. He could do _absolutely nothing_ , but watch as his mother died at the hands of the man he was supposed to call a father.

He had learnt since that time to bury his rage, or face the consequences, and after some time it had become a habit that he no longer thought about. But the sight of the Thestrals before him—and what it meant for him to be able to see them—had brought the rancour in him roaring back to life.

Burning with white-hot flames of resentment, he leapt up from his seat and sprinted towards the concealed entrance. He needed to get out again, to be away from the stifling confinement of the castle and the expectations people held of him. Not bothering to take his broom with him, he just ran towards the Forest. Feeling the rhythmic thumping of his feet against the ground, the muscles in his legs stretch and contract, his lungs pumping for all their worth, and his blood pounding through his veins and in his ears. The wind whistling through his hair.

He slowed as he reached the Great Lake. Suddenly, a huge lone figure stepped out from the cover of the trees. He held his breath and slowly backed towards a tree, hoping for some cover. Then, it stepped into the moonlight, and he saw it for what it was.

He carefully approached the Thestral standing before him. It grunted at him, but made half a step forward as well, cocking its head to one side. Theo wasn't quite sure what to make of it, but as he decided to brave a look into its eyes, he saw something that made him stop.

Pupil-less though they were, somehow they dimly reflected the moonlight, and Theo was struck by how much they looked like stars hovering right before his eyes.

Steadily, he reached his hand out towards its head. Pausing with the smallest gap between his palm and the Thestral's snout, he hesitated. Before he could retract his hand, however, the Thestral ever-so-gently nudged its snout against his palm.

Unrelenting waves of emotions that he could not stop to analyse crashed through him. His eyes prickled and his chest clenched with a crushing force. Collapsing to the ground, the peace of the night air was rent with the sounds of his gasping, heaving sobs. He gradually struggled to control his breathing and mopped his face dry with his sleeve.

The Thestral lowered itself to the ground next to him and firmly pushed its snout into his shoulder. Chuckling through his tears, he looked up at the Thestral with understanding in his eyes, then tilted his head even further to look up at the starry sky. It was no longer dull, and shone with so much starlight that his heart was full to bursting. He could finally come to a reconciliation with himself.

There was nothing he could have done, and all he could do now was to move forward. No more hiding; he will embrace his future with a new sense of courage, come what may.

"Thank you, Mother."

**Author's Note:**

> Words: 1,579
> 
> A/N: Okay, I know and you know and we all know there's no random concealed entrance okay? But let's just pretend there is, for Theo's sake. Can't have him trampling through the corridors twice just so he can feel some wind on his face


End file.
